Positive communication with young children

Positive communication can help you resolve half your parenting worries and lay the foundation for high self-esteem for your child. It makes your child feel listened to, accepted, safe and cared for. 

On the other hand, negative communication does not fulfil the needs of appreciation, acceptance and care. It results in low self-esteem and feeling criticised.

Click here to solve the puzzle about what contributes to healthy parenting: 


When it comes to healthy parenting, here’s a checklist for you:

  1. Do you talk to your child daily, just spending time with him, or is the conversation only about routine chores being completed? 
  2. Are you interested in what the child has to say or does it seem uninteresting or even an ordeal? 
  3. Are you able to come down to your child’s level while talking or is it only an adult supervising a child? 
  4. Do you actively listen to what your child has to say in hurt or excitement or is it too much for you to keep listening?
  5. Do you maintain eye contact while listening or do you continue working while he talks as there is far too much to be done? 
  6. Do you listen patiently and let him finish or does it get difficult and you cut short the conversation or complete his sentence for him? 
  7. When your child returns from school or elsewhere, do you drop everything and hear about his day or do you listen while the TV is on or you finish reading that interesting article in the newspaper? 
  8. Do you talk alone, privately at times or is it always with someone else around? 
  9. Do you praise your child's behaviour when he’s been good or do you easily only point out where he has gone wrong? 
  10. Do you show affection and love unconditionally or does the hug or pat come only when he listens to you? 

If most of your responses are the first kind, you are on the right track but if they are more of the second kind… you need to work on your communication!

Use the examples mentioned here and incorporate the more positive style of communication in your interactions with your child. If you need any help, do not hesitate to contact our counsellors.


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